A Little Frustration

So, it's been a while since I have blogged. It's 2:00 in the morning and I can't sleep, so I thought I would come type out some of my frustrations. There has been a lot happening in our lives. Matt has been trying to find a job and has interviewed with the Boy Scouts, we were suppose to hear something yesterday, well he hadn't heard so he called them and they offered it to someone else. Our family had been praying so hard for him, which I'm very grateful for, thanks fam. But, we are in Arizona and after we got that news, I just started bawling. I don't understand why the Lord hasn't allowed us to find a job. Matt is trying very hard and has had great management experience, but for some reason I guess he hasn't found the job the Lord wants him to have. I felt horrible yesterday, our whole family got together last night at Mike and Amy's and I couldn't even talk to anyone, because I knew I would just start bawling and I didn't want that and I didn't want them to think I was on a pity party, that's not what it is, I 'm just frustrated. I know the Lord loves each of us and has a plan for each of us, I just really knew what it is. It's hard to sit back and watch my husband have to go through all of this and not feel like a man and a good husband and father. It really hurts. Thankfully Helena reminded me that I just need to have faith that it will all work out. THANKS, Helena, I love you so much, I hope and pray that I will have the kind of faith that you have, because mine isn't so strong right now. On top of all of that, I had surgery on a hernia. It didn't quite go as planned, the hernia was bigger than they had expected, hence the recovery has taken a lot longer than I want. It has been frustrating not being able to pick up Colton and feel like a mom and wife. I have had inflammation in my chest cavity and my wrist still isn't 100% . It's really bothering me, I feel useless and inadequate. I try my hardest not to complain, but I just want to heal and I want to be healthy and quit having things go wrong with my body. We are in Arizona right now, which has been so fun, I love being with my family. I miss them so much! Being around them has reminded me that I need to be thankful for my blessings, I have been blessed with such a wonderful family. I have been caught up in my own problems and haven't been myself lately and being around my family has made me realize I need to count my blessings. My nephew Brody turned 1, I can't believe how fast he has grown and how fast the time has flown, for me anyways. He is such an adorable boy, so full of smiles and laughter. Gavin, his older brother has grown leaps and bounds, he is so smart and is not so little anymore. Sammy, got baptized, I am so proud of her and her decision to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I can't believe how grown up she is. Then we have Keagan, wow what a handy man, he is in the first grade and loves to use his tools to fix things. Kyler is so funny, he says cute little things all the time. Cloie, has grown and is such a little hugger and a great back scratcher. Anika is also full of smiles and laughter. Now for my brothers and sister in laws. They are amazing and I admire and look up to each one of them. Chris achieved Executive Enrollment Counselor, I am so proud of him. From what I understand not many people achieve that. He is such a strong man and a great brother. I love him so much. Helena, has been a huge help since I've been down here. I've really needed your little pep talks, thanks for everything and for listening. I miss being around you. I love you so much. Mike keeps me laughing, I've really needed that, I love you. Amy, you have been a great listener also , thanks for being positive and supportive, I miss being around you, I love you. I'm so grateful for each of my family members they have all reminded me of what is important. I'm thankful I have their faith to fall back on when mine hasn't been so strong lately. So, family, I'm sorry that I have not been myself since I've been down here and I'm sorry that I haven't been able to talk about it, I haven't wanted to bawl in front of you. I hope you each now how much Matt and I love each of you and are so very grateful for your love and support. Please forgive me for not being myself and distancing myself this trip. I have had a lot on my mind and have not wanted anyone to worry. Dumb, I Know! I will post pictures of our trip when we get home.

New Year

It's a new year, I can't believe it. 2008 was a great year full of blessings and trials. It seems like I had a lot of health problems, but hopefully that will all be taken care of soon. Colton has grown leaps and bounds. He is so much fun. I'm amazed at how much he learns and how funny he is. He is constantly making us laugh. Matt and I moved a couple of times, we ended up at my parents, so that I could work from home for my parents business, which is such a great blessing! and so that Matt could concentrate on school and go full time, so that we can get finished sooner. We are hoping that he will be done this fall and then we will be able to finally settle down somewhere. And as Matt puts it be grownups and have a real life. We had lots of fun trips- Aspen Grove and Disneyland. Matt worked the summer as the Boy Scout Camp Director and I got to pack and move us during that time. We have made wonderful friends in both Eagle Mt. and the University Wards and had great callings and experiences in each ward. We have enjoyed being able to spend so much time with Colton and watching him grow. We have been so blessed by a wonderful family who have been such a support to us. We look forward to this coming year and all that it has to offer us. We are so blessed to have the gospel in our lives and to know that we are children of a loving Heavenly Father. That he has a plan for each of us and is anxious for us to succeed and return to him. We are grateful for the Book of Mormon and know of the power and peace it's words brings into our lives. We have started reading it with Colton every night before he goes to bed, it amazes me at the peace and reverence it brings into our home and how Colton can sense that, he loves scripture time and he enjoys taking a turn to read also. It's pretty cute. We have been truly blessed!

New Year's

We had a pretty quite New Year's. It was the first year since Matt and I have been married that we actually got to spend New Year's together. The past two years he had been working at nights. I was glad he was home this year. We played our new games we got for Christmas and had some snacks, mostly cheese and crackers and pecan raisin cake, chips and dip, those kind of things. Colton made it till about 9:00pm, I wouldn't let him stay up any later. I wanted him to stay up a little bit later, hoping that I would be able to sleep in a bit more in the morning. Didn't happen, but it was a good thought. Matt and I watched the ball drop at midnight, gave each other a kiss and went to bed. The next day we did our little tradition of watching the Rose Parade. My mom grew up in California and it reminds her of home and they always watched it every year and it continues with me. I like that tradition. I think we all stayed in our jammies and just lounged around and played games, put some Christmas away. It was a nice relaxing day!